my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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