maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
