I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
