I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
