Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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