The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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