i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
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