it's like her boobs came off with her bra
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
