he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize