just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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