I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize