So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
