I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
