It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
