so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
