They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize