my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
