No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
