So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
