Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
