At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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