worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
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