i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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