You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i think i have two assholes
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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