thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
