i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
