it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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