we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
