is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
