I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
