I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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