Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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