i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
