idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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