My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
