just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
it's like iHOP with fire
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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