I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
