People with herpes should wear stickers.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
