My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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