Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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