Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
