The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Shame - the story of my life.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
