you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
