Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
