i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
