Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
