Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
