Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
