i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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