After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
