i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
