Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
this boner is exhausting
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
