yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
what day is it and did you see me today?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
