I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
