So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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