so explain again why im purple
no
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
