me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize