I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
porn star boner night. come get it.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
