I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
