1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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