Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
