why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
